I read a research paper recently that aimed to look at the relationship between happiness & resilience.
It set out to test the theory that the happier you are, the more resilient you are & the more resilient you are, the happier you are.
Made sense to me, sounds absolutely common sense. But I was a bit surprised to find out the results & I think they will be a great help to you,
We’ve probably all done it. Set of dominos, lined them up and pushed the first one, watching them all topple over. Slightly mesmerising, always impressive. Especially when you get creative, loops, bridges, twin tracks.
Oooo, get me!
Anyway, you’ve probably also heard of the domino effect too; a cumulative effect produced when one event initiates a succession of similar events.
So, here’s a thought. Instead of using dominoes, let’s use behaviours and people.
The film director Richard Curtis once said, “If you make a film about a man kidnapping a women & chaining her to a radiator for 5 years – something that’s happened probably once in history – it’s called searingly realistic analysis of society. If I make a film like Love Actually, which is about people falling in love & there about a million people falling in love in Britain today, it’s called sentimental presentation of an unrealistic world.”
Global society at the moment is pretty restricted.
My Grandad would always say that a bacon sandwich without brown sauce isn’t a bacon sandwich. “Brown sauce boy,” he would say, “is essential.”
I love that. The thought that something can make another even better. That it’s essential to bringing out the very best.
Well for me, Trust, is one of those essential ingredients.
Think of relationships, jobs, decisions, ideas. Now imagine them without Trust.
Trust is an essential ingredient to most things,
Have you noticed recently, that when you ask how someone is, you tend to get the same response. No matter who you ask.
It’s a kind of, slight shoulder shrug, nose scrunching, eyebrow raising thing. Every day’s the same, all rolling into one, doing exactly the same as I was yesterday and the day before and the day before type of response.
It’s all a bit Groundhog Day. (For those less than 25 years old,
Imagine working in a place where you feel recognised & valued, you feel part of something & you feel you can be yourself, no pretending, no facade, just be you. What would it be like working in a place like that?
As a leader you can enable this to happen.
So how can you? Try these;
1. Show Appreciation – find out what it is that makes those around you feel appreciated.
We all know that relationships are key. We feel connected & appreciated. We can be open, vulnerable, not have to pretend.
But it’s hard at the moment. Lot’s are remote, interactions are virtual. In a recent survey, 71% of managers are finding it hard to build relationships.
So what can we do? Try Showing Care.
Look at a relationship you have. Score 1-10.
1 there is no relationship,
People don’t half get on your nerves don’t they! They wind you up, they stress you out, they don’t listen, do whatever they want.
Well, that’s what we tell ourselves. The more we tell ourselves, the more we notice it. There’s a name for it. Psychologists call it ‘Conformation Bias’.
So, if we notice these things & they get on our nerves, which means we are stressed & tetchy, how useful is that?
Things just don’t seem to be improving, it’s tough for so many reasons for so many people. We are tapping into our inner resources so much & we’re all aware of the word resilience even more so than before. So what is resilience?
Well there’s so many different definitions & contexts, so for this let’s go with;
“leaning into yourself or others during times of difficulty so that you can become stronger”
How many times have you been asked to show someone how to do something? They need to do it & you are the one that knows it best. It’s a great compliment isn’t it? Recognised for your knowledge & ability. Makes you feel valued.
You start to explain, but it doesn’t seem to land with them. They find it hard to do it. Maybe it’s your explanation? Maybe it’s them? One things for sure,
I’m sure that whoever is reading this believes that you’re always learning, that you can always improve and develop. Well did you know there’s a theory about that?
It’s called a Growth Mindset and was coined by Carol Dweck.
At this moment there’s not much positive news. We’re all feeling constrained, we’ve got zoom fatigue, we have to plan those things that used to be spontaneous like visiting friends and family.
» Read more about: Self Leadership – Adopt a Growth Mindset »
“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way that you carry it.” CS Lewis
We all face challenges. Every day. Some big, some small, but challenges none the less. But what is a challenge?
Challenge can have a negative perception for some. It means burden, adversity, difficulty. Those perceptions may be true, may be false, but they are that person’s reality & that reality is negative.
Your perception,
» Read more about: Self Leadership – focus on your strengths »
Stuart has over 20 years’ experience of coaching and developing people in many different industries. He has worked at all levels, with senior executives of global brands and through to development programmes for managers taking the first steps in their careers. He also has extensive experience and a passion for sports psychology, coaching athletes at all levels from junior to full international.
Stuart believes that no matter what we are doing in life,
We often think that adversity is a one-off event, so severe it takes every ounce of our focus. It can certainly be that, but it’s one version. It actually comes in many forms.
It impacts some more negatively than others. Same event, different perspectives. Some struggle, some flow through.
It seems risky to some, paralysing them, but for others, hardly makes them pause.
It has no plan or schedule.
» Read more about: Leadership Self Efficacy; dealing with adversity »
Success directly impacts the way we feel about ourselves. As leaders we are often expected to bring in huge, strategic, long term goals which take time and success can be a while off, impacting the view you have of yourself. So, try these;
Look out for quick wins.
Do things that you like to do.
Set small, achievable goals.
Do one thing at a time to completion.
» Read more about: Leadership Self Efficacy; build success and resilience »
The executive team in any business are usually the top level of decision makers, with the highest levels of authority and responsibility. They’ll understand the day to day running of the business, proactively identify strategic opportunities and have the final say on key business decisions. Alongside this they have specific roles, they mould business culture and are responsible for an ethos of positivity and success.
Stepping into their world can be intimidating and daunting. Life seems fast and tough in there and it is, but perception is not necessarily reality. This module will help you navigate yourself around the world of executive teams, enabling you to relax, add value, have impact and make a difference.
Business and their expectations are evolving at a remarkable rate. Demands have changed from months to days. The drive of people’s needs, the ingenuity of new processes and the ever improving knowledge of clients is rendering strategies and whole businesses irrelevant. It’s not good enough to be up to date, you need to be more than that.
You need to stay ahead of the curve, in front of the competition, thriving and not stagnating in the legacy of past achievements. A focus on making the right choices and anticipating the early signals of disruption are essential. This module will help you plan for tomorrow and always stay ahead.
As a leader you’re always expected to go first, often into the unknown, under the spotlight and expected to succeed. Courage is assumed, being uncomfortable is part of the role. If you fail or others don’t buy in or you get rejected, well you’re expected to carry on, dust yourself off and try again. It begs the question, why do you do this?
Leadership is rewarding, but it’s exposed, it’s tough and courage is a trait that can help you along the adventure. People need leaders to provide direction, businesses need leaders to model the way and the world needs leaders to navigate through complex and uncertain times. This module will help you lean into that courage so that all of the effort will be worthwhile.
If you want to be the vest version of yourself, then learning how to manage your manager is essential. This isn’t about fixing them or manipulating them, this is about using their best traits to bring out the very best in you. If you can do this effectively, then not only does your day to day life improve, so does that of your manager.
To do this effectively you need to take time to get to know them, coach them, maximise your communication with them, take on and share some of their pressures and challenges and help them develop their skill set too. This module will help you get the very best from your manager, so that they can get the very best from you.
Leadership is not about writing vision statements and setting goals, nor is it about balancing spreadsheets. If you think it is, you’re measuring the wrong things. The single most important task that you have is to inspire your employees to achieve and succeed. Your number 1 priority is to bring out the very best in those around you. To do this, you focus on people’s strengths, you truly understand what life is like for them, you reward and recognise in ways that motivate and inspire each individual, you enable others to forge new connections, you give autonomy and freedom and you create a culture of trust. This module will help you realise that real power lies within your people.
