I’m in such a fortunate position. I get to work 1-2-1 with some of the countries sharpest commercial and operational minds. They come from all industries, work at all levels, some of them have senior or executive responsibilities, some are earmarked for those very roles.
I’m not sure why, maybe it’s the economic situation, maybe it’s something else, but I’m hearing one thing more and more often.
“You take things too personally.”
Let me give you bit more context.
Leaders, managers, supervisors, anyone with people responsibility, seem to be challenged more and more recently to ‘lead’, show ‘leadership behaviours’. When you get down to it, ask questions, get insight, what they really mean is “Get more out of your people and if they can’t do it, then replace them.”
Now, we know that can be the harsh reality of business, especially when times are tough, bottom lines are under more scrutiny and profits are squeezed or steadily eroded. Rationally we know that is always there, but the volume button is being turned up at the moment.
So, back to my point.
If the advice you’re getting is’ “You take things too personally” then my advice would be;
Take it as a compliment.
Yes, a compliment.
You can NEVER take things too personally. It’s the characteristic of a leader. Empathy. Putting yourself in their shoes. Feeling what it is they are going through. Only then you can make the best decision.
It’s not that you take things too personally. It’s what you do next. That is what will define you.
The secret to leadership is not to become a robot, a feeling-less shell. The secret is to be human, to experience the whole range of emotions that we are so lucky to have.
Your emotions should advise your decisions, not drive them. There’s a difference.
Try this;
When you feel yourself talking things to heart, knowing what it feels like, recognise it and listen to it.
Then pause.
Take a breath, make some notes, ask a question, whatever it is that gives you a moment to think.
Then respond.
Give yourself that gap, that chance to measure your response.
By doing that you’ll retain the emotion that will show people you care, but gives you the opportunity to give a response that adds value, real value. That value could be a call to action, a tough conversation, a harsh reality, a development opportunity, the list is endless.
Pauses equal abundance. Taking things personally equals leadership.